Now go; I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say.~ Exodus 4:12
I have a rich imagination. I was an only child until the age of seven, and I had to entertain myself a lot. So I became somewhat of a daydreamer, dreaming up stories and tales. I even told a few tales, which got me into a little trouble, like the time my dad overheard my declaration that I was allergic to mustard. It just seemed more interesting to say I was allergic than to say I hated mustard. As an adult, I am still a daydreamer. I have to make a concerted effort to focus on my work. And in my personal life, I am still a daydreamer. I imagine the life I wish I had. I even imagine terrible things at times, especially when someone I care about is late. But mostly, I imagine what I would say to someone in a given situation. In work, in my love life, with my friends, and with my enemies, I find myself practicing, or rehearsing what I will say, or what I want to say, or even what I wish I had said. Eventually, God started to call me on this. So I made a vow to stop. But guess what? It is really hard to stop this habit! I find myself slipping back into the habit almost daily, and I have to constantly remind myself to let God handle my mouth. Looking back, all that practice really never helped. I often thought as a child that I could possibly be a lawyer. My mother even told me several times that I would be a good lawyer, although I don't think she meant it as a compliment. But in a way, I can see what she meant. I sometimes prepare for my interactions with others with the fervor of a group of district attorneys bent on conviction. When I feel the gentle whisper of God telling me to stop, I always want to argue, "But how will I know what to say?" I whine. Then one day, God led me to this verse, and I realized that even a great Biblical character like Moses was afraid he wouldn't say the right things. What relief! I am not saying that it is always easy. Bad habits die hard. But I find this verse to be a comfort when I know I have a challenging situation to handle.
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Excellent take on this verse! Thank you for sharing it dear friend - I've struggled with a similar issue much of my life, as well. One night, before an extremely hard discussion with someone, I literally fell face down to the floor crying and asked The Lord to direct my words ... HE had revealed to me, that my own words were directed by my desires rather than the desire of His will. I would also like to have the attitude of asking God to direct my words in the smaller, day to day moments as well!
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